What Therapists, Research and Global Practice Reveal
Prenuptial agreements, or Prenups, have long divided opinion. Some view them as unromantic or pessimistic, as though they signal a lack of faith in the marriage. Others see them as a practical and transparent way to protect both partners and avoid future uncertainty.
So, do prenups harm relationships, or can they actually make them stronger? Research and professional insight from around the world suggest that, when handled with honesty and fairness, they can do the latter.
The Emotional Weight of a Prenup
Marriage is not only a legal contract; it is a profound emotional and cultural milestone. Because of that, bringing up a prenup can feel awkward or even threatening. Couples may worry that:
- It signals mistrust. One partner may interpret a prenup as a sign of doubt in the relationship
- It creates power imbalances. If one person holds significantly more wealth, the conversation can stir feelings of insecurity.
- It undermines romance. Talking about “what happens if we divorce” can seem out of place during an engagement focused on lifelong commitment.
Therapists emphasise that these emotional reactions are real and valid. What matters most is how the topic is introduced. The way couples communicate about a prenup can determine whether it becomes a point of division or a foundation for trust.
The Case for Prenups: Clarity and Security
Far from being a relationship-killer, a growing body of research and clinical observation suggests that prenups can strengthen communication and stability.
- They promote early financial honesty.
Money remains one of the leading sources of conflict in marriage. Discussing a prenup requires couples to be open about assets, debts and expectations before the wedding. - They reduce uncertainty.
Rather than leaving outcomes to default legal rules, prenups allow couples to define their own approach to fairness. - They protect both partners.
Especially where one partner steps back from work to raise children, a prenup can secure fair support and recognition of non-financial contributions. - They reduce family conflict.
For couples with children from previous relationships or family-owned businesses, prenups can prevent future disputes.
Globally, many countries treat prenuptial agreements as binding contracts. In Germany and Sweden, they form part of standard marital property regimes. In France, couples can even choose between several types of property system before marrying. In much of the United States, prenups are enforceable so long as they are entered into freely and with full disclosure.
England and Wales: A Cautious Exception
England and Wales remain distinctive for their cautious approach. For decades, English courts refused to enforce prenuptial agreements at all. That changed in 2010, when the Supreme Court handed down its decision in Radmacher v Granatino [2010] UKSC 42. The Court ruled that a prenup should carry “decisive weight” if both parties entered into it freely and with full appreciation of its implications.
However, the decision stopped short of making prenups automatically binding. Judges still retain wide discretion to disregard them if enforcement would be “unfair.”
This flexibility is often defended as a safeguard for the financially weaker spouse. Yet legal scholars and practitioners increasingly view it as paternalistic and unpredictable, leaving couples in England and Wales with less certainty than almost anywhere else in the developed world.
The Law Commission’s 2014 report on Matrimonial Property, Needs and Agreements recommended introducing binding “qualifying nuptial agreements,” but this proposal has yet to be implemented.
What Research Says Worldwide
Empirical research on prenups remains limited but insightful. Studies across Europe and North America show that couples who discuss financial planning early, particularly through a prenup, tend to report higher relationship satisfaction. Transparency, rather than secrecy, strengthens trust
In the UK, public opinion is changing. Surveys show increasing support for prenups, especially among younger generations who marry later and often bring assets, businesses or children from previous relationships.
Elsewhere, they are entirely mainstream. In France and Germany, prenups are part of normal marital planning. In Scandinavia, they are used to customise property regimes. In the United States, they are increasingly common among millennials and entrepreneurs.
An international study of family law practitioners found that when handled collaboratively, prenups often reduce later disputes. England and Wales, however, remain notable for their uncertainty, even when both parties have agreed freely and with independent advice.
How to Approach a Prenup Without Hurting the Relationship
If you are considering a prenup, how you approach the topic is crucial. Family therapists and legal specialists recommend:
- Start the conversation early. Raising it just before the wedding can feel manipulative or rushed.
- Frame it as teamwork. Emphasise that it is about fairness and clarity for both partners.
- Use neutral language. Avoid phrasing it as “protecting what’s mine”; focus on building a secure, shared future.
- Seek professional guidance. Independent legal advice helps ensure both parties’ interests are represented. This must be done early.
- Keep it mutual. The best agreements protect both partners, not just one.
The Bottom Line
Do prenups hurt relationships? The research suggests not. In fact, when couples discuss them openly and respectfully, prenups can strengthen communication and trust while reducing uncertainty.
The legal framework matters, however. In many countries, prenups are predictable and binding. In England and Wales, the courts’ discretion means couples face greater ambiguity, which can undermine confidence in the process.
Handled with empathy, transparency and professional advice, a prenuptial agreement is not a symbol of mistrust. It is a sign of maturity and respect, two people choosing to address the practical realities of life together before saying “I do.”